[CFrance]

Originally Posted by Bryan

It appears you were "blown off" by the rec cen director as well as Rec Dept management and never got a straight answer. I would go to a Welcome Wednesday meeting at the District Offices in Sumter Landing (2nd floor conference room) and ask your question when the Rec Dept director makes an update. Those meetings are open to the public, held at 11 AM almost every Wednesday (not 7/06 though) and last about 45 minutes. You will get an answer - maybe not at the meeting but shortly thereafter.

I think you can also get ananswer by emailing the headof the Rec Dept. I have, on more than one occasion.

As Gracie and others pointed out, you probably will not be appreciated entering into an established group of players. but it's another case of having rules but not enforcing them. You can probably force the issue if you go to the top, but it won't change that group's mindset, and they will probably make you unhappy.

This isn't America's Friendliest Hometown. That is just marketing. TV is your normal group of 110,000 people, each of whom having unique personality and nature, some good and some not.

I know what I would do... I would go to the top and ask why this is happening, and maybe they will advise the group to follow the rules. But I would find somewhere else to play, because bad feeling between you and the group is already established, and that would be hard to overcome. JMO

[Madelaine Amee]

Originally Posted by CFrance

I think you can also get ananswer by emailing the headof the Rec Dept. I have, on more than one occasion.

As Gracie and others pointed out, you probably will not be appreciated entering into an established group of players. but it's another case of having rules but not enforcing them. You can probably force the issue if you go to the top, but it won't change that group's mindset, and they will probably make you unhappy.

This isn't America's Friendliest Hometown. That is just marketing. TV is your normal group of 110,000 people, each of whom having unique personality and nature, some good and some not.

I know what I would do... I would go to the top and ask why this is happening, and maybe they will advise the group to follow the rules. But I would find somewhere else to play, because bad feeling between you and the group is already established, and that would be hard to overcome. JMO

with you too! To my uncomplicated mind, it's just commonsense. I would go to the top and ask why this is happening CF, you have more energy than I have, I would just let it lay ............... too many really, really, important things in life to be fretting about.

[charmed59]

I can see it from both points of view. I am in the process of purchasing a home here. My hubby and I are still in the mode where we get up in the morning and look in the rec news to see what is happening for the week and if it sounds interesting we show up. If, in the write up, it asks you to contact someone before showing up we do that.

However, we have shown up for a few activities where there were no people, or it was a closed group. It was disappointing, but I blame that more on the rec news putting in more clubs and activities than they actually have available. Perhaps they could ask all leaders once a season to send in an update to determine if a) they are open to new members b) they have limited availabilty for new members c) they are full right now, so take them off the list of possible things to do c) they are on hiatus for the summer, with next meeting starting in <put date here>.

They do seem pretty good at pointing out levels of each activity, so we don't show up for advanced when we've never done it before. And in most cases, folks are very welcoming to new people.

[Bonny]

What happened doesn't necessarily have anything to do with people being friendly or not.
We lived in Santiago from 2000 - 2004. We were a very active Village. Dinner groups, Saturday bowling, golf outings, progressive dinners, driveway parties, block parties, social club, bocce tournaments, women's club and yes a game night at a rec center.
This was really for the people in that Village to get to know each other & socialize. A lot of times we would talk about new ideas and activities for our Village.
I love people and love to meet people, but this really wasn't an activity for those that didn't live in that Village.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by CFrance

I think you can also get ananswer by emailing the headof the Rec Dept. I have, on more than one occasion.

As Gracie and others pointed out, you probably will not be appreciated entering into an established group of players. but it's another case of having rules but not enforcing them. You can probably force the issue if you go to the top, but it won't change that group's mindset, and they will probably make you unhappy.

This isn't America's Friendliest Hometown. That is just marketing. TV is your normal group of 110,000 people, each of whom having unique personality and nature, some good and some not.

I know what I would do... I would go to the top and ask why this is happening, and maybe they will advise the group to follow the rules. But I would find somewhere else to play, because bad feeling between you and the group is already established, and that would be hard to overcome. JMO

BE the friend yourself. I wouldn't want someone who is a vegan joining my group on how to serve hamburger 100 ways. (I am not in that group and I doubt there is one, but you get where I'm going) You have to be the grown up you are to realize that in some things it is an advance to walk away.

As my sweet daughter tells me often. You can't have everything in this world you want.

[keithwand]

I was the only person to show up at the Solitary Club. Really good time.

[Fredster]

Originally Posted by keithwand

I was the only person to show up at the Solitary Club. Really good time.

You are the

[golfing eagles]

Originally Posted by Fredster

You are the

No, he was a "participant"

[justjim]

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee

I'm with Bonny on this one. If a group of card players has been playing together for any length of time they are a "club" unto themselves and I don't think your wife and her friend should have tried to join them. A group of six of us play cards once a week and we would not appreciate anyone trying to break us up, it is our own private little social group for the time we are there.

I'm going to suggest that your wife call the contact for a club in which she is interested, and ask whether they welcome newcomers.

I'm not a big "club person" but I'm thinking why would six people call their card game a club. Why wouldn't you just meet at each other's home where you could have a beverage some food etc. etc. instead of a sterile environment like a recreation center. I suppose I'm missing something here. Just a thought........

[CFrance]

Originally Posted by justjim

I'm not a big "club person" but I'm thinking why would six people call their card game a club. Why wouldn't you just meet at each other's home where you could have a beverage some food etc. etc. instead of a sterile environment like a recreation center. I suppose I'm missing something here. Just a thought........

Prolly 'cause no one wants to clean her house!

[Kathrynsews]

Shouldn't they just list themselves as a closed club? Wouldn't that solve the problem and avoid confusion and hurt feelings?

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by outlaw

If I showed up at a club, and there were no open spots, and no one offered to let me squeeze in, I would just leave. No harm, no foul. I sure wouldn't be offended. Why in the world would you want to push yourself into a group that isn't interested in having you join them?

[justjim]

Originally Posted by CFrance

Prolly 'cause no one wants to clean her house!

Good answer. I never thought about that but it prolly would be a bit much to clean your house every six weeks.

[CFrance]

Originally Posted by justjim

Good answer. I never thought about that but it prolly would be a bit much to clean your house every six weeks.

Rully! That's far too often.

BTW, what is an "open" club? Our Three Rivers Club is closed due to room capacity, but we don't pay to use the room.

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by justjim

Why wouldn't you just meet at each other's home where you could have a beverage some food etc. etc. instead of a sterile environment like a recreation center.

We used to pay Mahjongg weekly, and players would take turns hosting.
The home owner provided snacks and drinks.
Then it turned into the home owner provided lunch.
Eventually, there was a mutual decision that it was a PITA to clean the house and organize lunch.
Now the games are held poolside at a Rec Centre.
So much simpler.