The Curmudgeon's Perspective
I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably upset.
Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers . Now they drink like their fathers.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.
I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word 'premeditated' gets thrown around in the courtroom.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,573 days in a row.
I decided to change the name of my bathroom. Instead of calling it the John I renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers. If you actually find one, what's your plan?
Everyone has a right to be stupid once in awhile. Some people abuse the privilege.