[redwitch]

My first job was at an orange juice factory but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried being a tailor but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Then, tried being a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life -- but just didn't have the thyme.

Next, I attempted being a deli worker but, any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was a musician but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor but didn't have any patience.

I became a professional fisherman but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

Managed to get a good job working fora pool maintenance company but the work was just too draining.

So, I tried retirement and found I'm perfect for the job!

(Boy, do I hate puns.)