[blueash]

Now there's a click bait thread title for you. But CNN is reporting a criminal prosecution of a man for sexual assault on his wife who had dementia and was unable to consent. I don't know the level of her disability nor the particular act which is alleged. I am interested in a general discussion on the broader topic.

Alz.org gives this definition of sexual abuse

Sexual abuse: touching, fondling or any sexual activity when the person is unable to understand, unwilling to consent, threatened or physically forced

Do we need a paragraph in our health care documents specifying what actions our spouses may continue? Can he kiss me? Can he curl up with me at night? Can he touch me here or there? and with what body part? Is there a presumption that at some point my dementia will mean I have stopped loving him and no longer desire some physical contact either for my own or for his benefit? Fortunately we have long since moved beyond the old laws which held that a man could never be charged with rape of his wife as it was his to take and her obligation to provide. This is more nuanced, and I think sad for everyone involved.

The Villages is exactly the kind of community where perhaps this kind of discussion can, or needs to, happen