[redwitch]

To me, sex isn't just intercourse. There are many ways to consummate a relationship, to take it to the next threshold so to speak. Even a quadriplegic has some options. I was a virgin when I got married. There was no question I was totally in love with my husband. He was (and is) my friend. I knew he was to be my lover, just not yet.

There are many types of love -- the love of a parent towards a child; a child to its parents; siblings to each other; same sex (non-homosexual) friendships; opposite sex (non-sexual) friendships; same or opposite sex with fringe benefits; significant others. To me, the difference between loving a friend with or without fringe benefits is the "butterflies" just aren't there. I don't want to be around my friend all the time. I do my lover (at least in the beginning stages of love).

Of course, in the beginning, I'm much more in love than I love. Love takes time, getting to know the whole person, accepting the good and the bad and still wanting to be with that person, not just as a friend, but to share my home, my bed, my heart. I have to be able to trust that person to try to not hurt me, to be willing to protect me, to be there when I need them. Just as importantly, I need for that person to want and need me. I don't quite expect all of that from my friends.