The other day, I found myself in rather dire circumstances....a scene right out of the Divine Comedy. I was a traveler in a strange land. The sky was dark and ominous with constant flashes of electricity and their accompanying crackles and sizzles. There were creatures of grotesque stature. All of them had glowing eyes and their lamentations bored directly into my soul. No wildlife or plant live could live in this sulfuric atmosphere except for coyotes and cacti. I was lost and hopeless.....doomed, and I began to make my peace in accordance with my beliefs. Then, in the distance, I saw a faint light. As my golf cart's internal combustion engine struggled on in labored breaths, while still emitting a noisy and impressive carbon footprint, the light began to stretch from the scorched landscape to the forbidding heavens and east to west as far as my weeping eyes could see. I knew there was salvation beyond this opaque barrier, but could I break through it? I squeezed my eyes shut, put a death grip on the steering wheel, and put the pedal to the metal. I whispered, repeatedly, a faint little mantra, asking my protector to shield me from any overzealous officer of the law who may be intent on writing one of those unregister vehicle tickets as told in the sagas. Suddenly, and, may I say, miraculously, a transformation of indescribable proportions as I passed effortlessly through the border. Blue skies and sunshine...moderate temperatures and humidity. Colorful birds were singing, most of them hidden away in beautiful trees in full blossom. Butterflies were abundant. I saw a rabbit conversing with a chipmunk as a gentle fawn looked on. I could hear trickling brooks and an angelic choir. I had been wrapped in a blanket of safety...I now know how Linus feels. My senses were temporarily overloaded, but slowly perspective returned and I noticed that this welcoming world had one outstanding feature...center striping. Those golden stripes, dazzling in their brilliance, were like the footprints of the Gods...beacons of comfort and hope that shown in stark contrast against the asphalt. I teared up and made a vow not to ever leave District 4 in a golf cart again except to hit the early bird special at Golden Corral...then I gave thanks to my rogue lords who gave the collective finger to the traffic engineer and the Developer's minions. All was right with my world.
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