[chuckinca]

> > Two blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter
> >work on a Habitat for Humanity house.. Carol, who was nailing down house
> >siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either toss

> >it over her shoulder or nail it in.
> >
> > Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you
> >throwing those nails away?"
> >
> > Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of
> >them have the head on the wrong end, and I throw them away."
> >
> > Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails
> >aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house.
> >
> > ==========================================
> >
> > A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the
> >tip of her index finger shot off.
> >
> > "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
> >
> > "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
> >
> > "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by
> >shooting off your finger?"
> >
> > "No, Silly," the blonde said, "first I put the gun to my chest, and
> >then I thought, I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not
shooting
> >myself in the chest."
> >
> > "So then?" asked the doctor.
> >
> > "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, "I just paid
> >$3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the
> >mouth."
> >
> > "So then?" asked the doctor.
> >
> > "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: "This is going to
> >make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the

> >trigger.
> >
> > ===========================================
> >
> > A blonde was driving home after a game, and got caught in a really
> >bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took
it
> >to a repair shop.
> >
> > The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have
> >some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard,
> >and all the dents would pop out.
> >
> > So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees, and
> >started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little

> >harder, and still nothing happened.
> >
> > Her blonde roommate saw her, and asked, "What are you doing?"
> >
> > The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to
> >blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
> >
> > The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to
> >roll up the windows first.."
> >
> > ==========================================
> >
> > Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in
> >movie? They had gone to see 'Closed for the winter'.
> >
> > =========================================
> >
> > A blonde was shopping at Target, and came across a shiny silver
> >thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it
> >to the clerk to ask what it was.
> >
> > The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos ... it keeps hot things hot,
> >and cold things cold."
> >
> > "Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing ... I'm going to buy it!" So
> >she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
> >
> > Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that?" he asked.
> >
> > "Why, that's a thermos ... it keeps hot things hot and cold things
> >cold," she replied.
> >
> > Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
> >
> > The blond replied ... "Two popsicles and some coffee."
> >
> > ==========================================
> >
> > AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
> >
> > A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
> >
> > Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
> >
> > The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying
> >that my mother had passed away."
> >
> > The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for
> >the day? Take the day off to relax and rest."
> >
> > "Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it,
> >and I have the best chance of doing that here."
> >
> > The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of
> >hours pass, and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out
from
> >his office, and sees the blonde crying hysterically.. "What's so bad now?

> >Are you going to be okay?" he asks.
> >
> > "No," exclaims the blonde, "I just received a horrible call from my
> >sister. Her mother died, too!"
> >
> > That's all for now folks...