On Faux News tonight, Donald Trump announced his choice of VP running mate. It is Carly Fiorina. She is coming straight off a two day candidacy as Teddy Cruz's running mate. Carly says the Trump statements about her ugly looks are okay because Trump never lies - and (well, face it) she is plug ugly.

The other contenders included Baby Hands Rubio and the Wasilla Quitta. Rubio was counted out when - during the official measurements - his was longer than Trump's by quite a bit. Sarah Palin was given the heave-ho (pun intended) when hers was longer, too.