Quote:
Originally Posted by dddave
To those who commented on my thread with sympathy, advice, and, yes, even finger pointing (sincere critiques speaks well of the critiquer), I say thank you. Your words have warmed my heart and that of my wife. I know that I am the prime (but not only) cause of my problem. I do tend to be too trusting, but it does get my knickers in a knot when someone takes advantage of that trust. When I was growing up, words and handshakes were far more binding than ink on paper.
As for where I will take it from here, your words have solidified a question that had been vaguely rummaging around in the back of my mind – am I Villager material? My view has always been that too much freedom leads to chaos, and too many rules and too much order leads to a boring similarity. Through reason and compromise I have tried to live in the road between chaos and boredom. I fear that “The Village Experience” is based on the latter, and that it will never accept my appeals to reason and compromise.
This is not a criticism of “The Villages Lifestyle”. I have observed many people (but not all) at the town centers, at the club restaurants, on bocce courts who are truly enjoying their life and life style. I truly enjoy watching their enjoyment. However, I also don’t criticize nor condemn those who live a non-conformist lifestyle (and I cite LGBT’s). I have observed them (not all of them) enjoy their lives just as much. To me the bottom line is - If you find your happiness, embrace it and revel in it.
Returning to my “boring similarity” quote, I will suggest two experiments for you to prove my point.
First, drive down any Village road at speed for a quarter of a mile. I would challenge you to cite with certainty which house is an “Iris”, which is a “Lily”, which is a “Gardenia”.
Second, find a fairly straight street in The Villages; in the evening stand behind one of the lighted house identification poles (you know the ones that say you are a golfer or a fisherman or a politician (okay, no politicians). I will bet that you will see a straight line, any pole of which does not deviate more than an inch from that line.
As always I take full responsibility for not observing, while house hunting, the sociological and architectural realities of The Villages.
I would seem that I should be putting a "For Sale" sign on my lawn (sorry, in the window), and a sticker on my car "Moving to Arizona." Yet, surprisingly, in my mind, the question is still sitting on my table – Am I a Villager? It is still there because of a second reading of all your words and sentiments. I saw how replete they were with your individuality! That revelation has left me grappling with the following - apparently you have learned to “compromise” (a little) your individualism, and with that been able to ignore the peevish and capricious rules piled up around you and embrace the personal and higher personality aspects of The Villages. So, I am thinking, if you could, maybe I could, and, if I can, maybe I am a Villager.
The jury is in deliberation.
Thank you all again.
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I hope you are able to discern what is most important to you and move (or not) from there. Is it friendships, sports, hobbies, or is it the ability to live up to your individuality in such a place as The Villages. I never thought I would, as a city girl, ever live in suburbia, and yet here I am. I would go back to my city in a heartbeat if it were warm year round. But it isn't, and I don't want to sit in a cold house and have to scrounge around to find indoor pickle ball courts (pickle ball as a synecdoche).
So I try not to guess which is the Gardenia, or notice the lamp posts in a row, or the sea of rooftops looking north on 466A, in favor of the warmth and the sports and activities. If my dog doesn't like something, he turns his head. If he can't see it, it's not there, and he continues on. I've adopted his approach somewhat.
We travel a lot, and that breaks up the sameness. I don't know if I'll ever feel the same sense of ownership I did in my home town, but the longer I'm here,the more things I do, the more I feel like staying. I may never be a real "Villager," but it's getting more comfortable as I go along. Good luck to you in whatever you decide, dddave. I hope you don't let a birdcage make your decision for you. It happened to my neighbor, so they simply built again with what they had learned about setbacks. But maybe you are looking for more than just a bigger birdcage.