Quote:
Originally Posted by dddave
To those who commented on my thread with sympathy, advice, and, yes, even finger pointing (sincere critiques speaks well of the critiquer), I say thank you. Your words have warmed my heart and that of my wife. I know that I am the prime (but not only) cause of my problem. I do tend to be too trusting, but it does get my knickers in a knot when someone takes advantage of that trust. When I was growing up, words and handshakes were far more binding than ink on paper.
As for where I will take it from here, your words have solidified a question that had been vaguely rummaging around in the back of my mind – am I Villager material? My view has always been that too much freedom leads to chaos, and too many rules and too much order leads to a boring similarity. Through reason and compromise I have tried to live in the road between chaos and boredom. I fear that “The Village Experience” is based on the latter, and that it will never accept my appeals to reason and compromise.
This is not a criticism of “The Villages Lifestyle”. I have observed many people (but not all) at the town centers, at the club restaurants, on bocce courts who are truly enjoying their life and life style. I truly enjoy watching their enjoyment. However, I also don’t criticize nor condemn those who live a non-conformist lifestyle (and I cite LGBT’s). I have observed them (not all of them) enjoy their lives just as much. To me the bottom line is - If you find your happiness, embrace it and revel in it.
Returning to my “boring similarity” quote, I will suggest two experiments for you to prove my point.
First, drive down any Village road at speed for a quarter of a mile. I would challenge you to cite with certainty which house is an “Iris”, which is a “Lily”, which is a “Gardenia”.
Second, find a fairly straight street in The Villages; in the evening stand behind one of the lighted house identification poles (you know the ones that say you are a golfer or a fisherman or a politician (okay, no politicians). I will bet that you will see a straight line, any pole of which does not deviate more than an inch from that line.
As always I take full responsibility for not observing, while house hunting, the sociological and architectural realities of The Villages.
I would seem that I should be putting a "For Sale" sign on my lawn (sorry, in the window), and a sticker on my car "Moving to Arizona." Yet, surprisingly, in my mind, the question is still sitting on my table – Am I a Villager? It is still there because of a second reading of all your words and sentiments. I saw how replete they were with your individuality! That revelation has left me grappling with the following - apparently you have learned to “compromise” (a little) your individualism, and with that been able to ignore the peevish and capricious rules piled up around you and embrace the personal and higher personality aspects of The Villages. So, I am thinking, if you could, maybe I could, and, if I can, maybe I am a Villager.
The jury is in deliberation.
Thank you all again.
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You make very valid points.
The primary drawback in choosing to live here was exactly most of those things you've noticed. Not to say that I believe in unrestrained individualism, because someone choosing to paint their house neon green and leaving their pickup on cinder blocks in the front yard with a huge confederate flag flying from the bed, directly affects MY property values and sensibilities.
In the big picture however (at least for me), the ability to live an active lifestyle, all accessible by golf cart, overrode the negatives.
Covering both extreme ends of the spectrum, some people prefer to have others control most of their lives and some people bristle at any sense of conformity or control. While living here is closer to the former than the latter, there is still enough freedom for individuality that I can personally live with.
Best of luck in finding a way to obtain a larger lanai (whether by expanding or moving) and thanks for a great thread and a warning for others.
