Thinking about a reoccurring problem I searched the internet and much to my surprise I was directed to search for a scatologist. Again, a searched led to the top Scatologist in the country, Theodore Mixmaster, PHd.

I called and spoke with Dr. Mixmaster in length and found that he was in fact, the world renowned expert in his field having traveled the world and investigating just about every living species on this planet.

He explained that with just one small portion of a dropping he could practically layout the species DNA, sex age, what they ate, when etc.

He then asked me of what species was I making an inquiry? I replied Dr. Mixmaster quite honestly the pursuit is for "trolls"because they are so pesky, distracting and of little value.

"Aah said Dr. Mixmaster I too have had an occasion or two along those lines , trolls are a world epidemic you know."

Well he continued, identifying them is easy enough because the droppings whether in New York or Patagonia are exactly the same.

"However the more difficult part is ridding oneself of them because their little brains make it difficult for them to smell their own droppings or to take notice of how quickly other species move from their path. Unfortunate as it is, I posit its nature's way of protecting them because their activities and behaviors are indefensible."

Dr. Mixmaster concluded with, "frankly the only viable solution for the extinction of a troll is through the evolutionary process." I'm 35 and do not expect any such changes in the foreseeable future. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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