I used to think I was just a regular guy, but . . .

I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.

I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist.

I am heterosexual, which according to LGBTQ folks, now makes me a homophobic.

I was raised as a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel.

I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a member of the vast gun lobby.

I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary, science denier.

I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe.

I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.

I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens, which now makes me a militant.

Recently, a sick old woman called me and my friends an irreconcilable, “basket of deplorables”

Please help me come to terms with the new me . . . because I'm just not sure who I am anymore!

I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, new found changes in my life and my thinking!

I just can't imagine or understand what's happened to me so quickly!

Funny . . . it's all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years!

As if all this crap wasn't enough to deal with. I'm now confused as to which restroom I should use.

Just kidding, I'm proud to stand up and pee. And trust me the rest of that BS I just recited means nothing, I'm still me.

Just making a point!