I use something like the following and it works fine.
Easyday Digital to Analog Audio Converter with Digital Optical Toslink and S/pdif Coaxial Inputs and Analog RCA and AUX 3.5mm (Headphone) Outputs - 6 Foot Heavy Duty Optical Toslink Cable with Gold Plated Connector Tips Included. It does need to be an electrical outlet as the converter has its own power supply.
This was from Amazon at cost of $13.80 (Amazon Prime).
One thing to consider, though, some audio outlets have the gain (volume) set same as for external speakers on the TV. In this case you get the same level of output through both the external speakers as well as the headphones. This sounds like it would defeat your desire of having separate controls.
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Columbus, IN and Aberdeen Proving Grounds, MD
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