if you have questions about the DAV, its probably best to ask actually DAV members.
To be eligible:
Any man or woman, who was wounded, gassed, injured or disabled in the line of duty during time of war, while in the service of either the military or naval forces of the United States of America, and who has not been dishonorably discharged or separated from such service, or who may still be in active service in the armed forces of the United States of America is eligible for membership in the Disabled American Veterans. Others who are disabled while serving with any of the armed forces of any nations associated with the United States of America as allies during any of its war periods, who are American citizens and who are honorably discharged, are also eligible.
D.A.V. Elgibility
Since the DAV doesn't get government money and helps so many veterans, I don't think its a bad thing to give a little if you can. What is the harm? I can tell you as someone who used their services in the past that they are helping veterans and they are understaffed because when an injured veteran from a conflict, say the one going on now, has to file paperwork, they go to the big three (American Legion, DAV and the VFW). Those people act on the person's behalf, does all the paperwork, and guides the veteran through the process and the appeals.
I personally could care less if they took cruises and had strippers and it was paid for with the money donated. Just think if you were in a bomb blast: scars everywhere, traumatized, you can't hear, teeth missing, and your thinking is off now. Now think if all you wanted to do was serve the United States and you wish you didn't get injured so you can continue to help America.
Now consider being discharged, you come home, you get a little money from the military and are told to file your claim with the Veterans Affairs. Now think of the VA understaffed and having to weed through all the paperwork.
Now organizations like the DAV help get the paperwork in order. Not everyone is 100% disabled. Not everyone is disabled at all. The VA gets everything. Now try to call the VA 800 number as its the only number you can call on your benefits. Now, with your injuries, you have 2-3 years to wait, and they denied you. The DAV will still stick by your side and continue to help you get what, if anything, you deserve.
So what if they eat steak. God bless the DAV and the other service organizations. Its the work they do, not where the money goes. Someone has to run it, someone has to do the leg work, and someone has to set everything up.
I know this is long, but on a side note: I was active in the DAV as a member going to the meetings and every month we voted on how to help veterans, if they met the membership criteria or not. If there was a veteran who couldn't pay the rent for a month, we gave him the money. We never turned down requests. We were limited but if it could be done, it was done.
The DAV is not ripping anyone off.