[Rapscallion St Croix]

I was rudely awakened at 7 am by some bikers who wanted to shoot pool at the Hogfish Bar and Grill in Key West. I was face down on the table and my feet were stuck in the corner pockets. My most recent memory prior to that was three days ago when I was visiting the butterfly garden in Gainesville. When they lifted me off the pool table, I noticed that my lower back felt sore. I was dismayed to find a tramp stamp tattoo when I looked in the mirror in the men's room. Fearing that I had lost my wallet, I checked my pocket and found it. When I counted my money, I had two thousand dollars more than I left home with on Sunday. I was surprised to find a matchbook from the Florabama Bar in Orange Beach, AL in my front pocket with a phone number and the words, "Abby...Dominatrix" written on the cover. In my other pocket was one of those four frame photos from a coin operated booth with pictures of me and Greg Allman. Also in that pocket was a ticket for panhandling from the NOPD and a ticket stub from Graceland. But, no, I can't compete with the guy in the paper.