19. “I say that knowing every time his name is said out loud, he has a shattering orgasm... Donald Trump is America’s back mole. It may have seemed harmless a year ago, but now that it’s become frighteningly bigger, it’s no longer wise to ignore it."–John Oliver

20. “Donald Trump has had several foreign wives. It turns out that there are really are jobs Americans won't do.”–Mitt Romney

21. “Tonight, we honor a self-made millionaire. He started with nothing, worked hard, and made a fortune. That man is Fred Trump, Donald's dad.”–Seth McFarlane

22. “The Trump virus’s primary effect is twofold: First, it implants in its hosts the unshakable conviction that one of the most execrable clowns in the history of these United States is a hero who deserves to be elevated to the White House; then, having inculcated the conceit, it removes the faculties that are necessary for its removal.”—Charles Cooke

23. “Donald Trump, without a doubt, you're a New York landmark. Which means it will only be a matter of time before you bulldoze yourself and put up some gaudy, tacky monstrosity, and put your name on it.”—Larry King

24. “I've heard word that Donald Trump has done so much damage to the New York Skyline, that instead of calling him the Donald, they should call him the 20th hijacker.”–Gilbert Godfried

25. “Donald Trump is here tonight. Now I know that he’s taken some flak lately. But no one is happier—no one is prouder—to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald. And that’s because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter: Like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?”—Barack Obama

26. “Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.”—Anthony Jeselnik

27. “Now Donald said he wants to run for President and move on into the White House. Why not? It wouldn't be the first time he pushed a black family out of their home.”–Snoop Dogg

Really like these.