My wife hosted a dinner party for all our friends, some of whom we hadn't
seen for ages and everyone was encouraged to bring their children along as
well.

All throughout dinner my wife's best friend's four-year-old daughter stared
at me as I sat opposite her. The girl could hardly eat her food for
staring. I checked my shirt for spots, felt my face for food, and patted my
hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at me. I tried my best
to just ignore her, but finally it was too much for me.
I asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"

Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior, and the table went quiet
for her response.

The little girl said, "I'm just waiting to see you drink like a fish."