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Originally Posted by sschuler1
Boomer,
Just thought I would bump this thread to find out if you ever found your dress? Did you get up here to Michigan and check out the Parisian in Livonia? By the way, they are selling Michigan blueberries at Kroger now and they are wonderful.
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Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!!
ss,
Thank you for asking. You kind Midwestern soul you. I did not see this post until just now. I was looking for the thread. So I could report in on "The Quest for the Dress" because just within the past 10 minutes the whole thing got all cranked up. I am talking cranked. So cranked. Just like those skyscraper Pioneer speakers used to crank. You know the speakers. The ones that Mr. Boomer brought back from Okinawa. He had those giant speakers and a Seiko watch. When I saw those speakers, the first time to his apartment, with those speakers and that watch. Oh my, ss, honest to goodness! I thought he was rich! But I digress. Here is what just happened.
Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!!!
The phone rang. At the other end was the Bride-to-Be. Oh, ss, it seems I am a favorite. Me! The phone call was for me! I have been asked to read at the big wedding. Me! Boomer! At a giant, giant church. In a major U.S. city.
Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!
And I do not yet have the dress even. And now I have to lose 20 pounds. Get Botox so I can have that sophisticated zombie look. I have to learn to walk in heels again. Across what I am sure will be a stone floor. Up little steps. To the place where everyone will be looking at me. At me! Aaaauuugh!!!!
I know. I know. I will get a pedicure. And then I will find some of those Spanx things. And they will surely have invented some by now that I can start just above my lovely pedicure and pull them up, up, up. All the way to the top of my Boomer head, where I will tie them in a festive knot and then I will pin some sort of corsage on top of the knot. Yes. Yes. That is what I will do.
And I will have to cut little holes in those Spanx for the eyes. So I can read. And maybe a hole for my mouth so they can all hear me. And I guess for my Boomer nose. So I can breathe better.
But my glasses! OH NO!!! I will have to get new reading glasses. My reading glasses are tie-dyed on the sides with rhinestones on the front. (Really) Or maybe I will just wear them. They are nice for formal attire.
Butohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!!!
And all this just happened. And it even happened after that little party for the happy couple at the bride's parents' place in Michigan last weekend.
And I had even spent a little time with Groom-to-Be, talking to him. You know. Welcoming him to the family. You know. . .
er, telling him that the bride's Uncle Boomer is a trained killer. Ohmygosh!!!! THAT IS WHAT I REALLY TOLD THE POOR GUY! I just wanted him to know that we expected him to take good care of her. (Mr. Boomer is not really a trained killer. I was just making that part up.) You don't suppose he believed me do you? Nobody ever believes me. But this guy did not know me.
Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!!!
Poor Guy!!! It was the rum talking. That's what it was! I have got to stop hanging out with pirates.
But even after alllll this. They still BOTH want ME to read at their wedding.
I said, "Yes. I am honored."
And I know I am going to cry. And it will not be a pretty sight. No glistening solitary tear for me. It will be all red and snotty. She was only just a little girl. Visiting Aunt Boomer in the summer. . .
And now. . . Ohmygoshohmygosh!!!!
Nobody is going to even notice me. The bride is drop dead gorgeous and will be in a closely fitted strapless number, beaded.
And that is just as it should be.
Boomer needs to get over herself.
And no. I do not yet have the dress. But suddenly, I am working on it.
Thanks.
Boomer