[Hyacinth Bucket]

Let me see if I understand all of this diet info correctly so I can lose weight like Nonie is.
1. Daily exercise regimen:
A. Walking to refrigerator/freezer at 3 am each day. Before I can do that I need to do the following exercises.
B. First I must go from the house to the car.
C. Then I need to park the car and walk to the store.
D. In the store I need to continue my walking exercise to purchase necessary weight loss items.
E. From there I walk to the check out counter.
F. To increase loss of calories I will now walk to the car and drive home.
G. Followed by even more exercise - take out diet chocolate (because it is eaten at 3 am) items, bring them to the freezer.
H. (I hope I have enough energy to wake up at 3 am to eat my diet foods, will set alarm clock [more calories burned off] then collapse from all this exercise.

Foods eaten standing - no calories
Foods eaten when no one in looking - no calories
Crumbs - have no calories
Ends of pieces when eaten standing - no calories
Sundaes, Banana Splits, Malted, Shakes and ice cream when you place a grape tomato on them are no longer considered desserts but a salad. Everyone knows salads are low in calories.
Cheese cake needs to be eaten daily to fulfill calcium requirements.
Cakes, Pies, scones and similar items when a sliver of fruit (your choice) is placed on the top is then considered fulfilling your daily requirement of fruit.
Breads and rolls are considered extremely important to your daily health only if you sprinkle Flax Seed on them - daily fiber requirements.
I think Bare also mentioned that if you eat something in the dark or in a closet or a garage those foods absolutely have no calories - you are standing.

Foods that contain calories - all foods eaten when sitting down EXCEPT for foods eaten with others while talking and laughing.

I hope I now have my new diet plan correct. :yikes: OMG it is 4:42 am in NY, I missed my 3 am chocolate for my heart.

From Bare,
HB, it is correct that dark chocolate is heart medicine. It also helps with mood swings (so every woman needs it)! However dark chocolate does contain calories unless eaten at 3 AM. Not sure why, just one of life's little unexplained mysteries. I think it is the same principle as .. "If no-one sees you eat it, it has no calories".

People often remark that I always eat salads and I'm very self disciplined. hahaha 1rnfl If they only knew that a quart of chocolate ice cream lasts me about 10 minutes. But I consume it sitting in the dark in the garage, therefore it is calorie free.

You're welcome.
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To my wonderful health conscience Sistah's you have no idea how "light" I now feel, know the correct way to lose weight. I feel ever so relieved.

Thank you, Miss you all,

HB

HB