[Quixote]

A couple of years ago we were getting rid of a desk--fairly small but still too big for the regular trash pickup. We called Sanitation and were told to put the desk at the end of our driveway and that they would pick it up. However, there is a hydrant on our property a couple of feet from the driveway.

We did as told, and a short while later Community Watch arrived in the form of a kid who didn't look old enough for working paper who stood in the door stammering. He finally managed to spit out that the desk was too close to the hydrant. I was tempted to respond with 'Northeast humor,' that is, "Oh, we're expanding our business and setting up an outdoor office," but looking at--and listening to--the kid, I decided not to.

So I explained to him that we had followed instructions, and what would he like us to do. He had no idea, then asked about moving the desk. "Sure," I said, "you take one end and I'll take the other, and we'll move it to wherever you feel comfortable." He picked up one end and I the other, and then he began looking around, hesitating for a few moments and finally moving it about one foot further onto the driveway and away from the hydrant.

"Are you sure you're okay about where it is now?" Lots of nodding--and he left. I then called Public Safety, and amazingly the head answered. I told him what had just happened and asked how it should be handled legally. He laughed and explained that there are laws on the books for distance to be parked from a hydrant, but because of how arbitrary the placement of hydrants is, there is no way they can enforce such laws. Perhaps it would be different in a commercial area, but in countless other places, notably residential areas, this is the way it is. Hmmm....