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Originally Posted by Abby10
So that's where it gets complicated and there are various reasons. His move happened very recently. One is that as soon as he got the job transfer and relocated, he recognized that the position may not be long lasting and he might be moving again, sooner rather than later. We are waiting too, to see if he does end up staying as it could facilitate our being able to retire and move to our TV home a lot sooner. We have been unable to sell our house up here for the past 4 years - not that it's not salable from the standpoint of being desirable, but to make a long story short let's just say the EPA standards have gotten ridiculous over the last 5+ years and our township is being a PIA. So essentially, as my husband says, we are prisoners in our own house until something gives. NOW, if my son ends up staying here, the cost to carry this house and stay in it is about 30% less than what he would pay for a studio apartment near where he works. He is not looking to buy right now (and would not want this big house anyway) because he has his money tied up in the rental market elsewhere. When he left, he moved to a very up and coming area that has a very low cost of living. While there he bought multiple properties and now has them all on the rental market, so essentially he was working 2 full-time jobs out there building a financial future for himself. So now here we all are, biding time to see what the next best move is for all of us.
Sorry for the long story, but you asked.
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I understand how life can become difficult with our children. I also understand the rental market as well.
My son went out of state to college, earned an associates degree and decided college was not for him (we were not thrilled), and he returned back home.
That was supposed to be till he got a job and made enough money to get his own place, so we charged him $200 a month to live in our house. A few months later one of our tenants in an apartment moved out and our son expressed a desire to move to that $800 a month apartment, but said he did not think he could afford $800 a month with his other expenses (auto insurance, health insurance, fuel)
We told him that we were not going to take a cut in pay and he would pay us $500 a month and give us 16 hours labor a month (lawn care, snow removal, etc). He agreed and lived there for about 3 years and worked 4 hours a week on the maintenance of properties (most time Saturday mornings).
A few months into the arrangement my mother in law complains to me about charging my son for the rent. She states I don't need the money...I pointed out that it was $500 and 16 hours less a month that he could pi$$ away with his buddies that live with their parents and pay nothing. She asked would he do that? I said anyone, including me, would do that if they could.
I also pointed out that she of all people should not be giving parenting advise (she has a 60 year old son living with her that has not had a job in 30 some years - the original wackadoodle in my life- and he has never paid her a dime for anything...she even pays for his cigarettes!).
My actions might sound mean to some, but it did reinforce responsibility and commitment. Our son bought his first home last spring and he had no concerns with paying a mortgage, I believe he had enough experience with managing his money at that point (and making sure money for the roof over his head was set aside) that he was comfortable with monthly expenses that had to be paid.
I am not sure if any of that has anything to do with your circumstances, I just wanted to share something that worked well for us.
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