They are currently driving 15mph in the left lane on Morse Blvd. They both have large dogs in their laps. Once your Dad finally agrees with your Mom that they shouldn't be on that road in a golf cart, they will move to a multi-modal path where they will pick up the pace to a brisk 32mph when your Mom realizes that they haven't yet roped off any chairs at the town square. At that pace, hopefully none of the yard ornaments they purchased at an Estate Sale will fall off. Your Dad's arthritis is responding well to the new meds and he has effortlessly flipped the finger eight times this morning. Their golf game is improving and they have initiated a new procedure wherein they pick up the ball after triple par on the par threes and quadruple par on the par fours....no par fives in free golf. They also try to pick up the pace by not wasting time raking bunkers. They don't make pitch marks as they still hit mostly "worm burners". They don't spend much time looking for lost balls as they can buy a whole bucket full of them at the ranges for a couple of bucks. With an eye towards a more sound financial plan, they have ceased purchasing doggie doo doo bags and are now investing that money in scratch offs. They are also saving money on hearing aids by turning the TV up to full volume. That is why they don't answer your calls. Clearing voice mails is technology way above their pay grades. They are still very PO'd with the sales agent not telling them about all the covenants. That jerk seems to think his telling your parents to make sure they read all the deed restrictions before closing covers his "youknowhat". They are both a little bummed about what these yahoos down here call pizza, but, after all, acclimation is a process. And lastly, you are correct in thinking they always liked your brother better.
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