DEAR NEIGHBOR

Hi, Fred, this is Richard, next door.

I’ve got a confession to make. I’ve been riddled w/guilt for a few months & have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I’m telling you in this text, & I can’t live w/myself a minute longer w/o your knowing about this. The truth is that, when you’re not around, I’ve been sharing your wife, day & night. In fact, probably much more than you.

I haven’t been getting it at home recently, & I know... that’s no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can’t live w/the guilt & hope you’ll accept my sincere apology & forgive me.

Please suggest a fee for usage & I’ll pay you.

Regards, Richard



*NEIGHBOR’S RESPONSE: *Fred, feeling very angry & betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, & shot Richard, killing him. He went back home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink & sat down on the sofa. Fred then looked at his phone & discovered a 2nd text message from Richard.


2ND TEXT MESSAGE:

Hi, Fred. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out & noticed that the darned Auto-Correct had changed “wi-fi” to “wife.” Technology, huh? It’ll be the death of us all.

Regards, Richard