I've had much experience in the OBX from my teen years forward. Owned a house there for years, have done family reunions and just last year a wedding. Nags Head is busy, lots to do, plenty of recreational and dining options, movie theaters, etc but crowded during the height of the season. Duck is increasingly busy but nothing like Nags Head. The problem with Duck is the one way for access in and out can be very constricted. Beaches are less crowded but you fewer have fewer dining, etc options.
Just prior to and after the summer season are best times to go for rates and crowds. That said we had an incredible family reunion over a 4th of July week in Nags Head. My best advice is Pay for Oceanfront -- it's worth every dime!
Like anything else it's a matter of personal preference.
Good Luck....Tim
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