Dumb One Liners
1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."
12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "KEEP OFF THE GRASS."
13. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
14. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
16. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
17. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now
a seasoned veteran.
18. A backward poet writes inverse.
19. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
20. When cannibals ate a missionary, They got a taste of religion.
21. Don't join dangerous cults; Practice safe sects!
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