Angel222:
While I'm just a Villages Wannabe, I do want to let you know that I have personal experience with The Compassionate Friends. In 2003 we lost our 21 year old daughter. She had just begun her senior year at college and was in an accident. My next door neighbor, who had also lost her adult son about 2 years prior, invited me to go with her to a meeting of The Compassionate Friends. I do not know how I could have gotten through that time without them. Everyone there had lost a child and was very understanding. The meetings started off with an address by the president, dealing with a different topic each meeting (we met once a month). Then we would break into smaller groups, with new members seated together for extra TLC and guidance. Each small group was led by a volunteer leader, and you could speak if you wish, or just listen. I chose to just listen because everytime I tried to talk about my daughter, I just broke down. It's devastating, and no one understands what a parent goes through unless you've been there. It's unlike any other kind of grief. The most important thing I learned was that everyone grieves differently, and what you are feeling is perfectly ok. And there were no judgments made at the meetings. Everyone's experience and feelings were respected. I learned so much from them; mostly, that what you are feeling is perfectly normal, and you will get through this. It's a difficult journey, but you really need to share with someone who understands. Perhaps you can look in your community newspaper for a local group. Or feel free to check their national web site for informatioin on local meetings and other help:
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/
My heart is with you, Angel222. God bless.