While looking up what “alter cocker” might be in English, I came across this story of an “Old Fart”:
Guy goes to his to his girlfriend's house for dinner and some tv watching. As they're sitting on the couch watching the tube, the old retriever, Rufus, wanders over and lays right under his feet. The guy, whose stomach has been acting up after eating her cooking, starts getting a bit bloated, the 'ol gut pressure is building up and he really needs to cut the cheese before something internal ruptures.
Finally he can't stand it anymore and cuts a small one, "bwweeeep". The girl, shocked, looks down as says, "Rufus!!". Guy thinks that this is rather fortuitous turn of events so lets another small one loose, for test purposes, "Bwwraaapp". The girl again looks down at the dog, "Rufus!!!"
Thinking he is now home free since she's blaming the poor dog, he waits a couple of minutes then really lets go, "Fweeeeebrapbrapbrapsputsputsputfisssss...." Ah! Relief!
She looks down at the poor dog and exclaims, "Rufus, get out from under there before he craps all over you!!!!!"
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