[davem4616]

Originally Posted by TooColdNJ

Davem, I commend you. This is off the topic of the initial post but bears mentioning. I see many folks that have more money to live on and play with than others do, so they can think about what they leave their children- it’s not hurting their lifestyles now. Some aren’t in that position. My child is doing better financially than we ever did. Material things and brand names have never been important to my daughter (and her husband), which will ultimately help them when they’re in the stage of life that we’re now in. On the other hand, I see how frugal some people live down here: dinner twofers with quantity rather than quality, picking through the racks of discount retail clothing stores and settling for things they may never have chosen at full retail or even on sale; cocktails are too expensive to order when dining out... they eat wherever they have a coupon for, etc., with more money in the bank or invested to leave the children.

I see my adult child and her husband investing in their future independently. Yet I’ve also known young couples who are relying on their future inheritances to make a large purchase or pay off their own kids’ college loans, for example. If we’ve raised them to be, and they have become responsible adults by now, it’s time to for us live life to its fullest- maybe even be frivolous by allowing ourselves some “wants” rather than needs. We’ve earned it.

IMO, doing without or with less, and living very frugally in order to leave our kids with an inheritance has become antiquated. Just saying...and not selfishly... if you can enjoy the remaining years of life with extra available bucks now, rest assured that our children will make it with or without us. If your kids have been spoiled all their lives, given the best of everything, (buying your 14:year old a Louis Vuitton purse?? ), you’ve done them a disservice from the start...no turning back now! At a time that we should be living, living, living, some are still saving, saving saving... for the kids.

sometimes the answer to the question needs to go "off post" and be expanded so that one can step back a little and see the bigger picture and both the intended and unintended consequences