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I called my grandfather "Grandpa" and he liked that term. It worked for both of us. But now that I am of that age I want my grandchildren to use a different term for me. My grandchildren may use grandpa with their other grandfather but they have learned that my preferred term differs. It is a sign of respect for my feelings that they use my preferred name. If at one time Black Americans wanted to be called colored because at least it was better than "n..r" then colored it is. If later they went to Negro as it made them more comfortable, then Negro it should be. If later this becomes African American then it behooves any reasonable person to switch to African American. If now it is Black, I don't see the problem.

What term people use within their own group is not automatically a term a non-member of the group is allowed to use. If I were Jewish and I called my friend Hymie boy or Kike that does not give you permission to use the term. Within a group the foul label being hurled by the oppressing non-member at it is often used to attempt to have it loose its power. Yankee Doodle was an major insult when used by the British. Even after its adoption by the Revolutionaries, it was still an insult when used by a British soldier.