[EdFNJ]

Originally Posted by OrangeBlossomBaby

I've been to a bunch of wakes, and sat Shiva with many relatives and others. I've learned it all depends on the person who's dead. If it was some awesome surfer who lived life on his own terms as an intentional beach bum and wrote poetry, I'd assume the event would NOT be at a funeral parlour, but instead at the beach, and everyone would be wearing their swimsuits and shred the waves in his honor.

If it was a CPA who adhered to routine, was traditional in how he behaved in public and lifestyle, I'd assume it'd be held in a funeral home, and I'd wear nice pants or a skirt and top that wasn't too revealing.

If it was a person of great importance (a President, a mega star, British royalty, esteemed poet laureate of a university, etc) I'd probably wear a knee-length or calf-length, non-formfitting dress in dark tones with a shawl to cover my shoulders if it was sleeveless, and regular shoes instead of sandals or sneakers.

If it was a street musician, I'd wear jeans and a tee-shirt and bring my guitar to the family memorial service and jam with everyone else in his honor.

All the above are direct personal experiences. The surfer one, I didn't shred. I body-surfed. But that counts.

When my father passed he was buried in tennis shorts, tee shirt and sneakers. That's how the service was attended (well, sweat pants) although it was 30 degrees and right after an 8" snow. When we gave the funeral director his clothes we did get a funny look. The Rabbi loved it. Attire you wear depends on the person.