[Tim C.]

oooo! umbrage!!

well since I'm a man i can only speak for men. The older divorced men I know generally do not want to marry again, but it seems like all the divorced/over 50 women do want to get married again. so from a male perspective, I don't see very many advantages to a man getting married again versus the pitfalls. I understand why so many of the divorced men I know swear they will never ever ever do it again. just speaking on my observations. Seems to be a different POV between the genders. it's not really a financial thing - I know men without assets that don't wish to marry again. but I think the finances complicate things.

And I'm thinking back in the past when things were different. Men pretty much HAD to get married. It hurt your professional career if you weren't a married/family man. You couldn't get access to regular sex as easily without being married. If you wanted kids, you had to get married. You were viewed as some sort of oddball if you didn't. And divorce? HUGE stigma attached to it and again it could hurt your career, your social contacts etc.

these days you can get all the companionship, sex, kids, etc, without the financial entanglements that go with marriage. especially at our older ages, children raising is rarely an issue. and nobody cares if you're divorced

so why marry again? I certainly would not. I just have observed very different attitudes between men and women in the over 50/divorced or widowed group. vastly different. Heck my own financial advisor - after getting pretty much financially raped in two divorces will never do it again. Has had the same GF for 8 years. until a year ago, he said that about every 3 months she would press him to make a commitment and marry her. they had big fights. He told her if she ever brought it up again that they were finished. He didn't even want her to move in. just an example. she hopes, he avoids. I know others like this. I can't thing of one couple where the male is pressing for marriage this hard and the female is avoiding. not one. why is that? I can't say. Marriage is so easy to dispose of that it can't really be called a "commitment" these days. so there must be other reasons - and some of them must be financial. that's all I can say out of my observations.

so you can speak to the female point of view.