Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbyPye
Some time ago, I placed a post within this portal that spoke about the notion of creating new friends once someone has moved in to The Villages.
I am in the process of moving to a smaller home within the Villages domain. However, I tend to make note about the aspects of making friends with other residents here in TV since most (if not all) people that live here, be it full or even part time, come from somewhere else in North America. I don’t know if anyone lives here who are natives to anyplace within a one hundred mile radius. But for this post’s sake, let’s state that those that live here come from somewhere else.
My question is, how many of you from the time you have settled here made some friends that you speak with, get involved with activities, or are just “chummy” with one another. I don’t mean people you see on occasion only to engage in small talk or just say a few things just to be polite. I mean somebody who you could feel comfortable inviting them for a simple meal, or to engage in some form of sporting event, or even have a frank discussion on a specific topic.
And is there anyone out there who has limited to even no friends that live within TV? Your only contact is with family members, or with others that do not necessarily live in TV. In other words, you just exist here, perhaps take part in some public event, maybe use some of the amenities that are available, and so on.
I just ask these questions because I know that the sales and marketing department here in TV push the “lifestyle” one can be part of. And what I mean by “lifestyle” refers to being involved in clubs, groups, and so on. I always referred to somebody living “the lifestyle”, which means that one engages with what is affectionately known as “swinging” a.k.a. “wife swapping”. However, I wouldn't be too surprised if such an activity such as "lifestyle living" exists within these parts, but I will not go any further on that topic.
Again, I just want to know what I may be getting into before I make a full commitment to relocating here. My old neighborhood where I come from held more diversity in terms of people’s stages in life. And because of this, making friends was rather difficult, if not totally impossible! People just had to take care of other things that held a larger priority to them (Work, school, family, etc.), and sometimes taking a bit of time off for just a quick cup of coffee wasn’t worth their effort. And so it goes....
Many thanks for your what I hope will be your honest input to my inquiry.
-Abby
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Good question. Making friends is a two-way street. The more outgoing and friendly you are, the greater the chance of encountering similar people.
It is a pretty well-known fact that people form fewer friendships as they age. One's ideals and morals tend to solidify with age and we become less tolerant of people who don't share them, people who are moderately introverted as younger people tend to become much more so as seniors, leaving a circle of friends we may have had for years and moving here to TV often means that our friendship-making skills are rusty from disuse, etc. All those things, plus more, impact friendship-making for older folks.
But (a personal opinion here) one very big reason we don't form close personal friendships is--SOCIAL MEDIA. As in Talk Of The Villages. In years past if you wanted to know the opinions of the people around you and share yours with them, you had to do it in person. You had to have that personal contact and develop the connection to the point that you are comfortable with that interaction on a personal level. Social media drastically inhibits that. Only something like 7% of real person-to-person communication is actual words, the other 93% consists of eye contact (or not), body language, general appearance, voice tone, volume, smiles (or not) etc. etc. There is really none of that here. Don't get me wrong. Social media is a great tool for those who are otherwise unable to have personal contacts because of disability, distance, etc. But it does nothing to help one develop friendships on a real, personal, human level.