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Originally Posted by Robnlaura
After many years of trying to get my 96 year old mother into considering assisted living and being opposed by a brother who convinced her that our desire to have her sell her home and use the proceeds for her care was us really trying to steal her money, he convinced her to sign a power of attorney in his favor.. she fell broke her hip ( as we warned would happen) he summarily moved into her house “to help her” after a week of that he moved her into his house in New Jersey from florida he now has full control over her and her estate. Be careful with these power of attorney documents
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Thank you for posting this. In late 2020, we redid our stuff, via emailed documents and 2 virtual meetings with our attorney, followed by an in-person meeting for the signing -- with masks and social distancing. (We used an attorney in our home state because we spend more time there than we used to and it has remained our place of primary residence.)
In some ways, 2020 was a good time to get things done. We could take our time and get all the questions really together and play through all the "what if scenarios." We are a small family --with no cons in the line-up -- but even so, it is important to try to cross all the t's and dot all the i's.
When I was carefully reading the power-of-attorney, it occurred to me that I had not realized before how incredibly powerful that document is. It is not something to take lightly.
I think, no matter how we are doing now, as we age, we all fear the "what if scenario" of being unable to handle our own business.
I am so sorry your mother was victimized -- and by her own son -- who was also more than willing to victimize the rest of the family, too. Unfortunately, such a thing is more common than we would like to think.
I have heard it said -- "You never really know somebody until you are to share an estate with them."
The boomers are aging in a time of more smaller families or no children at all or with beloved children spread around geographically -- and these things are now, more often, adding yet another layer of complication to elder-care decisions.
I hope our OP here will think seriously about calling the attorney -- well recommended in this thread -- and at least get an appointment to find out if she's a match.
Before going to such an appointment, it is really important to sit down and make a list of all the questions and scenarios that can be thought of -- and go in prepared and with the realization that such important decisions will probably take more than one appointment -- with more thinking time in-between. (This should not be boilerplate stuff.)
Boomer