Quote:
Originally Posted by CFrance
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate offood does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
|
SUCH fun and too danged true!! The tripping part was especially meaningful, however, since one of our cats charged full speed behind me a couple years ago - ran right into the back of my legs (socked feet on the freshly polished wood floor), knocking said legs right out from under me and the rest of me falling onto my backside! OUCH!! The dear fellow immediately disappeared, and then as my family was checking to see how badly I was hurt, he peeked around the corner and looked . . . . . well, either ashamed (oops! THAT is not what I meant to happen) AND/OR worried that he was in trouble!! Okay, maybe he was concerned about my health and well being!! LOL
But they sure do steal our hearts!