Quote:
Originally Posted by katezbox
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Boomer, I suspect the population that is not female trolls here because they think we may chat about what my friend Nancy calls "Nookie". ................
k
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What do you call it?
My sister and I sometimes laughingly call it “watching
Matlock.” (I guess by now some of you know me well enough to figure that a little story will ensue.)
Here goes:
Picture it. Cincinnati. City of the Reserved. The Polite. The Proper. The town where people do not talk about their sex lives………..
Anyway, my sister and I were out and about one day when we decided to pay our parents a surprise visit. (We were probably somewhere in our 40’s at the time which would have put our parents at late 60’s, early 70’s.) We thought they would be so happy to see their lovely daughters, even though unannounced. So off we went to bring them such joy, or so we thought.
Well, when we arrived at their house, we knocked on the door. And we knocked. And we knocked some more. Nobody answered.
So we went around to the garage where I jumped up high so I could see in the garage window. And……
OH NO! OH MY! The Oldsmobile WAS THERE!!!! OH MY! OH! NO! WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO OUR POOR “ELDERLY” SWEET PARENTS???????
My sister and I knew not what to do. And, of course, according to our family tradition, we let imagination run wild……
HAD OUR DEAR PARENTS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY A GERITOL SALESMAN WHO WOULD FORCE THEM TO POSE FOR ADS?!!
OR HAD AN AMBULANCE COME AND TAKEN THEM AWAY??!!!!
OR HAD THEY FALLEN AND COULD NOT GET UP??!!!
OH MY! OH NO!!!!
This was in the days before cell phones so we could not call in an APB. Whatever would we do?!!
As we wrung our hands and walked back to the front of the house, our mother opened the door. She was wearing the fuzzy robe that my sister had bought her for Christmas. For goodness sake! Why was she wearing her robe? It was AFTERNOON!!!! WAS SHE SICK???? OH NO!! OH MY!!!! OUR POOR DEAR “ELDERLY” MOTHER!!!!!
And in her very sweetest motherly voice, she said to us, “What in the
are you two doing?! Out here running around like chickens with your heads cut off???”
And we sighed in unison, a great sigh of relief. And I asked, “What happened? Are you and Dad OK? We pounded and pounded on the door. And we looked for the Oldsmobile in the garage. And then we saw it and we were scared? What happened? Why didn’t you answer the door???"
And our dear, sweet, “elderly” mother, standing there in her robe, in the AFTERNOON, said, “Ohhhh, we did not hear you. We were, uh, watching
Matlock.”
Boomer