[La lamy]

Originally Posted by cswett5234

My parents live in TV, they are in their mid-80’s, both are starting to have health issues, step-dad had his prostate removed, Mom has always had minor bouts of skin cancer and heart issues. It’s tough to discuss issues because you don’t want to appear particularly “ghoulish” or like you’re just after their money (we have plenty of our own).

Last time we visited (and after a few drinks) I asked Mom if she would stay in TV if Dad passed first or would she want to move back to Maine to be closer me and my sister. She said she would STAY in TV, said she enjoyed the place and enjoyed the neighbors, knew her way around, etc…

The questions we have are:
1. What are your plans if your spouse passes first? Stay or leave? Go to an assisted living facility? Do you have monies for such a move?
2. Do you have a list of assets? Bank accounts, where they’re located, any outstanding loans?
3. Do you have a will? Do Not Resuscitate orders written down anywhere?
4. Burial or cremation? Do you have a cemetery plot purchased or have a place in mind?
5. Do you have a list of all utility providers? Cell phone bill, electric/water/gas bills, home/auto insurance company, Netflix, Cable service….access to these accounts so they can be terminated.

These are the questions I would love to ask my folks, but can’t. Seniors of TV, how would you respond to your children asking these questions? Be honest.

I would prefer being the one to offer up those details to a child, but can see how it'd be difficult for a child to manage a passing if a parent never prepared them ahead for this. Tough call. Maybe ask in general terms if a power of attorney has ever been thought about in case of severe illness. Depending on the response, maybe a more thorough conversation could be had.