I've found a crack in the egg conspiracy. Someone infiltrated the trade lines and snuck "Sunshine State Eggs" into the Publix rotation. They're brown, cage-free, and only $4.85/dozen.
Now keep in mind - cage-free is not the same as free-range or pasture-raised. It often still means thousands crammed into a single hen-house, and the hens rarely, if ever, see daylight outside the hen-house. But they can spread their wings, are usually not de-beaked, and can lay their eggs in nests.
The eggs won't be as nutritious as eggs from pasture-raised chickens, the yolks never as bright orange, whites never as dense. But they're significantly superior to white eggs from hens in factory battery-cages.
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