[Velvet]

Originally Posted by Pairadocs

I often wonder the same thing. I assume it is just another manifestation of the last 30 year slide away from direct communication and interaction resulting from technological advances ? Most could never EVER have envisioned a family, sitting at a table in a sit down restaurant, all with their cell phones in hand, "communicating" with each other and with their friends not at the restaurant... who would ever have believed that could happen ? To me, it's not that much of a stretch to imagine neighbors who can't even talk with another neighbor about a problem or impending problem. When I was growing up, if a neighbor's hose had been left partially on the grass of the next house, to the point where the grass was dying under it, the fathers or mothers never seemed to have a problem talking face to face ! And things were discussed without anger, violence, retribution. One father was able to say " Hey Dave, your hose has been laying partially in my back yard for so long it's beginning to kill my grass, you don't mind if I roll it up for you do you ? And almost certainly, when approached in that non confrontational manner, the other person would say "oh my gosh, I completely forgot about that hose, so sorry."

Over our time in the V's, we've found people are much more reluctant to even speak when they move in, so others on our street, including myself, no longer even bother to go introduce ourselves, take some cookies or a treat we made, etc. No more Friday driveway get togethers, bring your own beverage of choice and a chair, and just visit ! Actually I find it a kind of pervasive sadness when I think of how people (not the Villages) have changed, and then Covid put the "nail in the coffin" so to speak, people locked their doors, lowered their shades, and isolated. If you walked to the mail station, people approaching from the opposite direction would CROSS the street rather than take a "chance" on walking past another person outside, so obviously didn't help the gradual move toward unfriendly people ! One neighbor who always made a major effort to make new people feel welcome, went next door with a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies to greet the new people. Man/husband (?) came to door, "Hi there, I'm___ and this is my husband ___. We live next door. The reply was "I'm Bob",
not "Hi, am Bob, and say his partner or wife was not home, or thanks for the cookies, or even a word or two about "glad to meet you don't know anyone yet", just nothing. but "I'm Bob", not even a thank you for the cookies ? Then, closed the door. Neighbor figured that 2 p.m. a Saturday afternoon was just not a good time, and should have waited until they were out in the yard ! Those two words, "I'm Bob" were the only two words ever spoken to the next door neighbors or to anyone on our block in the six years they lived here. Could have happened in any neighborhood in any state I guess.

I come from a large metropolitan area where you do not open the door to any one. (Unless they have an appointment with you.) The first week I moved in to the house at Mallory, the door bell rang. Bravely, I hid in the bathroom till they went away. Later that day the doorbell rang again, I thought it’s probably that lady who comes with a welcome basket but tries to sell you water filtration systems. Hid again till they went away.

Around supper time the doorbell rang again. I looked out the window this time and saw a golf cart parked in my driveway. I thought well, it would be unusual to sell something by golf cart so I opened the door. It was a charming lady who said she was going to keep coming to my place until she could meet me, to welcome me to the neighborhood. I have answered every doorbell ring since then, and also got a Ring doorbell so I can see who is at the door.

This lady and I now play Mahjongg regularly at one neighbor’s house or another, and several of us golf together. We have lunches and socials and help each other out when needed. That was my introduction to my neighborhood. So, at least in some lucky neighborhoods, the tradition continues.