[Pairadocs]

Originally Posted by MandoMan

Villages Blues: A Synopsis of Common Complaints, drawn from Talk of the Villages
Sing it in any key, or none.

A dog lives in my neighborhood that does its business on my lawn.
Every morning at the break of day, a new brown pile upon my lawn.
I complained once to the owner—he laughed and told me to be gone.

I was driving in my golf cart, going twenty miles an hour.
Had the pedal to the metal, speed limit twenty miles an hour.
Some guy honked, gave me the finger, and yelled to get a cart with power.

There’s a white cross in my neighborhood—how I wish it would go away.
People know it shouldn’t be there, but they plant it anyway.
I’ve filed complaints but no one listens, so I fear the cross will stay.

I went to buy a cup of coffee—there were ten people in the line.
I only saw a single server—and “Help Wanted” on a sign.
Freeloaders don’t like working when government checks pay for their wine.

I like my white skin brown, but I’d like your brown skin white.
My permit lets me carry, but I don’t want a fight.
Please don’t give me a DUI when I weave home at night.

I like my golf course green, but it has turned to gold.
There are gators, snakes, and gophers, high humidity, and mold.
The doctor says there’s too much of me, and my mind is growing old.

The Villages will end someday when it reaches to Key West.
Florida’s swamps will fill with villas, native sons be thought a pest.
And all snowbird up-northers will head south to make their nest.

I think you've nailed most of them....might have missed "keep OUTSIDERS out of OUR squares, shops, movie theater" ? But a good list. I'm certainly moaned about several on your list, but not going to change my sunny disposition ! As an aside, look up the iconic American author James Michener's Recessional; The novel he wrote at the age of approximately 87 when he was "retired" at a Texas life style community, but based his fictional community in his novel (The Palms) in Florida. Think you will enjoy it. Not sure if our libraries here have it, but probably can find on thrift books and similar very low cost websites.