I have no problem referring to him as "he, him, his" because if he is a biological male and gay, he is still a he, him, his regardless. But, if it offends him, then I can refer to him by his name. I'd hate to have the children that might be around, become confused as to how "gender" works. Costume is for pretend, and one can pretend anything they wish. Just don't mislead the children as to what is real and true. After all, aren't we supposed to base our knowledge on science(or factual evidence)?
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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway
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