Trolling for gratuities or asking for a gratuity are huge turn-offs to me that don't work. You will never feel "taken advantage of" if you don't tip someone who you don't think deserves it.
But worse, is a mandatory gratuity, like some restaurants apply to a large group. If it's mandatory, it is not a gratuity. I would suggest that, before making a reservation, you should tell the manager that you do not want an automatic gratuity added to the bill. Your group will tip according to the level of service, or you will go somewhere else.
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