Ways to make your golf cart seem less likely to be stolen:
1. Check Google Maps and discover you're 1,234 miles from New York City.
2. Look up the crime stats for The Villages, FL and find that there's been one stolen golf cart in a city of 100,000 golf carts in the last six months.
3. See a shrink about your paranoia.
4. Don't leave your keys in the cart, with your golf clubs in the back, when you drive it to the Square or Publix.
5. Install a kill switch, which you need anyway, to make the damned thing turn off that stupid alarm when you leave it in reverse.
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