I'm going to write a letter today. In high school I had a tournament winning percentage of 45%, which blows Tiger, Jack, Sam and Tom away. I'll going to ask them to incorporate that record into the PGA statistics, and then pay me $2 million for each win and $4 million for my county championship. And even though there was no FedEx Cup at the time, I would have won it easily, so I'd like $25 million bonus for both my junior and senior years.
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