Firstly, my heart goes out to you having two parents to care for at the same time, it can be stressful and challenging but also rewarding to still have them in your life.
For whom to call first, it can depend on the time of day and what arrangements you have made in advance. If you have made pre-death funeral arrangements, you can often simply call the funeral home to arrange for transport straight to their facility. This is assuming you are absolutely certain they have passed and there are no questions as to the circumstances of their death. Anything in question, you may want to call the non-emergency police number and they will direct you to the appropriate party. If it's after hours, it's unlikely their primary caregiver would be available to take the call, but that is certainly something you may want to ask them about before the time actually comes.
Regarding donating remains to science, you would want to arrange that in advance because time is of the essence in most cases. There is a wealth of research but still needs to be done regarding the human body. Even a 99-year-old person can provide valuable information such as incidence of 'cancer' existing without any symptoms, known disease progression, neurological decay, etc. It can be rewarding for a person who sees value in medical research, so long as no one feels any moral contradictions.
Regarding expenses, it sounds as if they haven't procured any end of life insurance for that purpose. With my mother-in-law's passing, she had purchased a prepaid funeral several decades prior, and the terms of that policy guaranteed it would cover expenses no matter what had happened with inflation. She really went all out for herself. The bundle of red roses on top of her casket was bigger than the casket itself! Most people may not have that good fortune, so there are many things you can do to reduce costs if that is your need or desire. A simple bundle of flowers purchased from Costco or Sam's that morning, wrapped with a satin ribbon can be perfectly lovely on top of a casket, or next to an earn if the cremation has already taken place. You can gather photo frames from around your house and fill them with photos of your parent to place on a central table, like an altar. Feel free to be creative and add personal touches such as a favorite knick knack, blanket or other personal object your loved one enjoyed. Nice services need not be overpriced, and that industry is known for taking advantage of people in their time of grief. You likely know best what your parents would want, but if they are unwilling or unable to make the arrangements themselves in advance, you shouldn't feel any guilt about the choices you make when the time comes.
Your post here on TOV is sure to get plenty of feedback that will give you a variety of ideas and information to help guide you. Meanwhile, enjoy your time with them.
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Originally Posted by DaddyD
I'm a caretaker for two elderly parents, and while I've discussed with them their end-of-life wishes (both are organ donors & both desire cremation) I really have no idea the steps one needs to go through once a person dies.
If they die at home (most likely scenario) who do I call first? Their primary doctor, police department, funeral home, or other agency?
They are both organ donors, but is there demand for organ donation of a 90 year old person?
If you want to donate your body to science, does this need to be arranged in advance? Lots of different organizations out there, maybe some not so reputable....any recommendations?
I read that the average funeral costs approx $10,000...to each their own but that seems absurd to me.
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