I have had to put two of my wonderful pets to sleep over the years due to illness, just as you have had to do. As a man, I found it confounding as I cried like a baby right in the Vets office. The assistants actually came out and gave me a hug.
You are going to go through the 4 stages of grief, just as if you lost a human family member. It will take time, but knowing that the pet enjoyed a wonderful life, and that many pets do not will help, at least it did for me. Keep a picture out if you have one.
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