[Freeda]

Wow, you all have taken my breath away. I have been away from TOTV for most of the past few weeks, due to my daughter Meghan Steinberg's (28 years old, of Louisville, KY) continued treatment. I just got on here and saw the recent messages, above, about Meghan; and realizing how kind and compassionate you all are to keep thinking of my daughter, Meghan, even when I'd been away from TOTV, well, it has me in tears and overwhelmed, so grateful for your caring spirits. I have no doubt that the well wishes you sent played a role. I think that I temporarily have a bit of something like 'post-traumatic stress syndrome' from this ordeal, and the exhaustion of 'hospital living', over the past few months, so tears seem to come easily right now.

Meghan went home from the hospital on October 18, after having extensive chemotherapy. I will never forget one of the nights when she was in some of the worse recovery phase from the chemo, I had just seen, too much, her suffering with headache and throat pain (from severe sores in her throat caused by the chemo) and nausea, and as I laid with her in her hospital bed massaging her head, just trying to provide a little comfort, watching the nurse instill yet more medications for pain and nausea, and looking at Meghan's twisted little suffering face, I just could not stop the tears, it was all so sad and seemed so unfair. The nurse came over to me after Meghan was again sedated, and hugged me tight, and said, "I know it is so hard to see this; but she is going to get better. You just have to keep thinking of that." Thank dear G_d for compassionate nurses.

Meghan returned for outpatient MRI's and lumbar punctures, to find out whether the chemo had killed the leukemic cells that were in a 'cluster' in one of her spinal nerves and that were in her spinal fluid. We were all on pins and needles for the next few days to hear the results at her next visit to her oncologist. One of those nights before the office visit, I had the dream that I had had repeatedly in 2005, when Meghan had her original battle with leukemia. In my dream, she was in the mouth of a lion, and I was running up to it to try to free her, and then I would wake up. I knew that this office visit would be one of those potentially life-changing 'crucial conversations', and more than anything else, I just dreaded the thought of having to to see Meghan 'bear up', bite her lip, and have to 'be strong' yet one more time; I just didn't want her to have to hear, and find the courage to deal with, any more bad news. So much was on the line. When Dr. Kommor walked in, he looked at us all and with a twinkle, and a tear, in his eyes, said, "Let me just say from the start, this is all good news." All of the tests showed only dead cancer cells, and no additional areas of cancer. And in that one sentence he relieved her dad and me from the worst fear a parent can have. Meghan will have a little more treatment, as a precaution against any more recurrence, but she is in complete remission, again, and the hope is that it is for life.

Parents, love your kids every day, and hug them every chance you get. I am so, soooo blessed; I know that there are so many parents who would give anything to be in my place. I hate hate hate cancer. Do everything you can to maintain your and your family's health, and to lessen the risk of having to deal with this beast of a disease.

The gift I have received from Meghan's illness, beginning in 2005, is that my priorities in life got crystal clear, very quickly. I just decided that every day that my loved ones were here on this earth, it was going to be a great day, no matter what else was going on. So many things that I had allowed to concern me in the past became unimportant; and now I am happier and live with gratitude every day.

Please accept the thanks from a grateful mother to you who reached out in kindness to my Meghan with your love and strength; you each made a difference to her, and to me.
Thanks for caring about this young woman, whom you have never even met in person, although I think you probably feel that you know her spirit. Thanks for caring enough to spend some of your time to send your thoughts, prayers, and energy; and to help, to my way of thinking, save a life. You have blown me away, again, dear TOTV friends.