Welcome Jayhawk,
You will have a tough time finding a resale with tub in the Master bath. If that is a deal breaker, then new will be the way to go. As L2 says, many of the requirements you have would have to be done post construction as The Villages has limits on what mods you can do during construction.
Having homes close on the sides hasn't been an issue.... But if privacy is a concern it's more important what is behind you and how far away. You can do a lot of screening with landscaping. The only major limitation is that hedges cannot exceed four feet in height....though this is probably only enforced via complaint. If two neighbors agree on a higher back "hedge" I doubt the deed compliance folks would ever see or cite it.
As an aside, I'd be curious to hear your comparisons of The Villages to Sun City. When doing my research on TV, that was the only comparable sized development that had been around for awhile. One of my concerns with TV, was and is how will the community and structures age over time. Will it still be as nice twenty years from now as it is today.
Good luck!!
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Maryland (DC Suburbs) - first 51 years 
The Villages - next 51 years
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