O Great Fumar, who loves all pets
And flies so high, and wins all bets
Who trades on skill and not on luck
Whose posts on TOTV run amok
Have a cigar
You're going to go far
You're going to shoot below par
O Great Fumar.
If you're not in the sky
you might be out boating
Or on your Lanai
Talking-- and boasting (

)
Today is no different, it's just that you are
Another year older--but no dinosaur
We still think you're terrific, if a little bizarre
Happy Birthday to you! O Great Fumar