[pooh]

Little Green Garden Snakes.

WARNING
GREEN GARDEN GRASS SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a
recent cold spell, the wife was bringing n alot of them indoors to
protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one
of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife
saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud blood curdling scream.
The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room naked
to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the
sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About
that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him in the butt. He thought
the snake had bitten him, so he fainted.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The
attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started
carrying him out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency
Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's
when the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called
on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself
with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he
decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in
relief.

But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she
felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake
rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man seeing her laying there
passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery
store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her
husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him
out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

An ambulance was again called and it was determined that the injury
required hospitalization. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint
and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over
him, so she assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the
kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it
down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the
whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about
to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all
happened over a little green snake.

They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing
wife. Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch, One
of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and
hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa.
The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke,
it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out
the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the
family dog, who startled, jumped up and raced out into the street, where
an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police
car and set it on fire.

Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire
house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department and the
arriving fire-truck had started raising his ladder as they were halfway
down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put
out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten square city
block area.

Time passed.........

Both men were discharged from the hospital, The house was re-built, The
police acquired a new car, and all was right once again.....

About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a
cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they
should bring in their plants for the night.

It's best not to tell you her answer. Something about gun fire.