I agree, I treasure quietness. I'm only 54 and have just begun researching a move to The Villages. I will be sorely disappointed if I can't sit at the pool and enjoy quietness while I read a book. In some instances, such as this, maybe the person who enjoys the loud music could use earphones?
I also agree that loud music at a restaurant is inappropriate. Music is okay, in the background, but not so loud that you have to talk louder than normal in order to be heard by your dinner companion. This would be a deal breaker for me; I would avoid the restaurant in the future.
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